Purple – Emotions

“The words of a fool leads to strife.” The tongue is the most dangerous weapon we possess. The Bible says, “The tongue is sharper than a double-edged sword.” The death of our victims is not physical death; it is a killing of one’s spirit.

In the song “Toy Gun” by Carrie Underwood, she expresses the sentiment that she wishes words were like little toy guns, “no sting, no bullets, no kick from the trigger when you pull it.” But alas, in reality, words are like an AK47 and can severely maim and injure those in its line of fire.

Does strife come from bottling up my everyday annoyances, day after day, holding them in, filling me up with the equivalent of a chemical explosive?

I turn within…what sets me off? Is it my ego’s longing to be superior, to lord it over someone else? What are my inner wounds that I am looking for others to mend? Am I able to look inside and do the healing necessary or do I just slap a band-aid on and pretend all is well, despite the massive bleeding and overwhelming pain that I hope can be temporarily alleviated by my home remedies?

If I keep my wants, desires, needs, etc., inside, instead of discussing, sharing, allowing myself to be vulnerable, I am more likely to start hearing the ticks of the time-bomb and feel the explosion erupting.

Lack of communication on a daily basis, it seems to me, can be the culprit; not expressing my needs or my desires or my expectations often leads to the feeling of disconnect, resentment and fatigue.

I believe that strife comes from an inner feeling of lack of worth, lack of self-awareness, self-confidence, self-understanding. When I look to others to heal the wounds that are deep within me, when I expect another to fill the hole that exists inside me, the eruption starts to bubble.

I can never take my words back. I am haunted by my harsh words and by those of others who have made me the victim of their fury.

I have noticed that I never forget a kind act. Each and every act of love that I have been the recipient of lives on in my heart, soul and mind. Same is true for hurtful words and acts performed against me.

The scars of harsh words I have left on others and those left on me remain. Healing begins with self-care and self-determination to not allow the words to puncture. I believe that if I have inner strength and inner peace, then I will be able to resist taking harsh words to heart. I can get my worth and my value from my creator and my creator alone. By being in constant connection with God, I can learn to have compassion for my aggressor.  I can also learn how to love myself so deeply that I do not allow myself to be the assailant nor the victim of a verbal attack.

The Bible says in Matthew “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”