Unwrap Me
As many of you know, I’m walking through a season of deep grief. Honestly, I never anticipated the kind of pain I’d feel after losing my beloved Momma Judy, nor how completely shattered my heart would become.
Christmas music, which used to fill me with joy and peace, now stirs up a mix of tears and profound sadness.
It’s not the music’s fault. It’s just that it hits differently now that I won’t be “Home for Christmas” or see my mom walk through my door with her Mrs. Claus-like presence.
She was such a vital part of my Christmas experience. We would sing together, fill the house with the smell of homemade treats like baked brie and a glorious ham, and laugh until our sides hurt.
She always wrapped gifts so beautifully, with perfect bows, ribbons, and paper. She would even trick me by putting my gift in a Nordstrom box, only to reveal it was from TJ Maxx. But it didn’t matter. Every gift, every detail, was given with so much thought. The pajamas were soft, the candles and bath soaps carefully arranged in the box. It was her way of making me feel so loved, cozy, and cherished.
This year, though, things are different. Instead of unwrapping gifts from my mom, I’m allowing myself to be unwrapped.
Here’s what I’m opening myself up to:
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Accepting things as they are, instead of wishing they were different.
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Being true to myself, whatever I’m feeling, without trying to put on a mask just to please others.
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Not comparing my grief, or my life, to anyone else’s.
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Gratitude for what I do have, and for the wonderful people God has brought into my life.
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Giving—because there is joy in giving, and in doing so, we often forget our own troubles.
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Resting rather than constantly striving.
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Being content with all circumstances.
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Trusting in God for everything.
I’m letting God unwrap me from the weight of expectations, ego, and all the “shoulds” that I often entertain, which always burden my heart.
This season, as I navigate this grief and my new reality, I’m learning to embrace vulnerability and authenticity.
While the holidays may look different without my mom, I’m discovering the beauty in unwrapping the parts of myself that I often try to hide. It’s not always easy, but I trust that in this process, I’ll find healing, peace, and a deeper connection to what truly matters.
May we all have the courage to be unwrapped, to let go of expectations, and to find comfort in the love and grace that surrounds us.
Merry Christmas, Balance Seekers!
